Support groups crucial for Alzheimer's patients, families

GREENVILLE, N.C. - It's a disease that slowly strips away the memory.

All week we've been looking at ways to understand Alzheimer's.

Tonight we're focusing on support groups.

Alzheimer's takes an emotional toll on families. 9 On Your Side went to Spring Arbor Assisted Living Facility in Greenville to see how some families cope with it by leaning on one another. 

In here, life is simple.

But for their sons and daughters and loved ones in here, Michelle Bullock said, "It's a very emotional life.  It's very hard to watch a loved one dwindle away when their body is still physically there and their mind is dwindling.  It's very hard."

Bullock's mother-in-law has Alzheimer's.  She lives in the Spring Arbor cottage with a dozen other residents who have the disease.  Bullock didn't know anyone when she started coming to the support group meetings, but that didn't last long.

"In about 15 minutes you can have an emotional breakdown or be laughing," she said.

They might be here for different reasons.

"She's still dealing with the acceptance of that fact that he's not the way he used to be.  And so we are just kind of there to make sure she's ok,” said Terri Jones, whose father-in-law has Alzheimer's.

But everyone brings a familiar story.

"Just like today I went for a visit to see her and I was her husband.  She introduced people saying 'this is my husband' and I said "no mama, I'm your son.' And then she kind of said, yea, that's right, that's right,” said Donald Fornes, whose mother had Alzheimer's.

"I think they definitely leave with that sense of 'I'm not alone.' I think they leave with the sense of, 'I can do this," said Mary Hall, Senior Services Program Specialist PCMH.

Hall facilitates support groups and works with caregivers like the ones here.

"Alzheimer's is not a short-term disease; it lasts a long time for most people.  So it's a long-term thing that they have to be able to cope with it over an extended period of time; many, many years in some cases. So to be able to identify with some other folks that have been there done or are in the middle of it as well, really can help them see that they can make it through this," she said.

For some, this is only their second or third meeting. Others, like Bob Fuller, have been coming for years.

"I don't necessarily offer them advice, I just tell them how I handled it," he said.

His father, Bob Senior, lives in the cottage and fuller visits him every other day.  While others in the support group might be on the verge of tears, fuller brings a brighter energy.

“What's gotten you to that point,” asked 9 On Your Side.

 "The difference is, I think is, what I learned early on, and I'm trying to tell these people, don't bring these people to your level, you go to their level.  I enjoy these people.  These 14 folks down here become my dad's family.  They become my family," he said.

Alzheimer's might be taking everything else away, but with this kind of support, a positive spirit remains intact. 

"They reach out and touch you in a way that no others can because they've actually walked in your shoes or are walking in your shoes now and it's just a blessing," said Bullock.

The Alzheimer's support group meets at Spring Arbor in Greenville every fourth Tuesday of the month at 6:30pm.

Mary Hall, Senior Services Program Specialist at Pitt County Memorial Hospital facilitates a support group at Silver Care in Greenville every third Tuesday at 10am.